Zet, Mateo and I drove to Albuquerque last week for Mateo's three-day Freshman Orientation session at the University of New Mexico. It was a heart-warming, mind-melting experience, and a wonderful opportunity to practice the "empty nest syndrome" for a couple of days. Afterwards, Zet stayed in New Mexico for a weeklong art camp, while Mateo and I drove home via Durango, where we spent a few days deep in the San Juan Mountains, visiting dear friends.
Mateo is a wonderful travelling companion, and I was grateful to be able to spend that time together before he heads off to college "for real" next month. However, we had car trouble on the way home, as well as many hours of driving through heavy rainstorms, and arrived back in San Antonio feeling exhausted, rather than rested.
So now, I'm sitting at my desk for the first time in ten days, feeling overwhelmed by the sheer volume of papers, tasks and phone calls/e-mails that need attention. But I know this feeling all too well, and this time I refuse to let myself get pulled back down into that dark, moldy old hole.
CHOOSE AGAIN
Instead I choose to take a few moments to remember my statement of purpose: "to experience, explore and express the free flow of Life moving to me, through me, as me, in a world of prosperity and peace."
Those are fine words, and of course, they're far easier to say than put into action. But that doesn't make it less important -- or any less possible -- to stay focused on the power of being propelled by my purpose, rather than feeling powerless in the face of the circumstances in front of me, as was so often the case in years past.
Sure, part of me is fully prepared to head back into that tired, old familiar habit pattern once again. And yet... as I pause in the headlong rush to Get There, just long enough to remember who and where I AM right NOW, a subtle but power-full shift occurs. Lifting my heart, shifting my vision, feeling my Wholeness as part of the Whole, I release my need to control what comes next.
TRUST AGAIN
Rather than feeling defeated by these tasks, I choose to take a few deep breaths, in order to relax, remember, review, and take responsibility for who I AM in truth, and what I'm really here to do:
1. I relax (from the Latin relaxare, "to let loose"), and feel my willingness to let go
2. I remember (from the Latin, rememorari, "call to mind") o clear my mind of the limiting beliefs and memories of what has gone before, and focus on the present moment.
3. I review (from the French revoir, "to see again") is to look beyond what was, then open myself to new possibilities.
4. I take responsibility, knowing that I am "response-able" and fully able to respond to the tasks in front of me, trusting that I have all the time and resources necessary to handle all these things I've attracted into my life...
BACK AGAIN
Afterwards, I open my eyes and see my desk in a new light. It's still full of papers, tasks and phone calls to be made. But now they are no longer problems to be solved or challenges to be overcome. Instead, they're just invitations to a dance with Spirit and reflect, connect and communicate with others... Trusting that all of the necessary tools, guides and resources are available, I feel fully capable of doing what needs to be done in service to the One Love connecting us to the All and the Everything. At least, that's my story, and this is how I choose to see it.
With joy,
Rudi
THANK YOU for holding the Circle in your heart by visualizing a generous flow of financial abundance. Thank you for supporting us as we continue our work of fostering a creative, inclusive approach to spirituality. We are deeply grateful.
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