Once upon a time, not that long ago, a chiropractor who had been treating both Zet and I for several years, half-jokingly observed that Zet was so tough that she could probably take 23 bullets and keep on coming, while I have such a low threshold of pain that just hearing the sound of gunfire would probably cause me to fall to the ground and scream "I think I got shot!"
GETTING HURT
I don't mind admitting that there's definitely some truth in that. Especially in the aftermath of slamming the car door shut on the index finger of my right hand earlier this week while I was loading the car and got distracted by our dog. Zet was nearby when it happened, and she immediately wrapped it with ice and administered arnica pellets, so the after effects aren't as bad as they might have been. Still, there's a deep bruise beneath the nail bed, and the top half of my finger is mighty stiff and sore. Being sensitive to pain, it really hurts. Being a professional guitarist, I can't help but feel concerned about my future ability to hold a guitar pick the way I have been for the past 50 years.
FEELING PAIN
Rationally, I know it's no big deal, because the bruise will probably heal in a few days. Spiritually, I'm clear that all is well and all shall be well. Even if, for some reason, this finger doesn't heal completely, I have faith that I'll either find a different way to strum guitar or create new ways of making music that won't involve that particular digit. And yet... I can't help but notice how often I seem to keep banging this one finger into things, and how each time the stabbing pain causes fearful little thoughts to pop up in my brain, proclaiming this to be a disaster.
It's amazing how easy it is to fixate on one, small problem like this, while ignoring how much of life is going very well. Sure, one-third of one of my ten fingers is throbbing, but the other nine fingers are fine, as are both of my hands and feet, as well as all of the many organs, bones and complex bodily systems that are functioning perfectly.
CHOOSING BLESSINGS
Having noticed this often-used tendency to focus on the negative, I'm doing my best to use this situation as an opportunity to practice focusing on blessings instead. So, when I bump into the sore spot, rather than automatically shrinking into pain and fear, I breathe into the sensations, and send healing thoughts to the places that hurt. Not just to the tip of the index finger, but to the little boy who keeps kicking himself for not paying attention to a slamming car door; to the older guy who keeps worrying about his future abilities to play guitar and/or stay creative; to the holier-than-thou critic who berates me for howling in pain and screaming awful curses at myself, the dog and the car door in the immediate aftermath of the incident.
Like I said, it's no big deal. In a couple of weeks, this will all be ancient history. In the meantime, it's just another opportunity to practice focusing on the many blessings that life keeps bringing, rather than the challenges. Or not. It's simply a matter of choice. As the late Wayne Dyer used to say, "Pain is inevitable; suffering is optional."
With gratitude and blessings,
Rudi
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