I love our home, and feel very blessed to live here. Surrounded by acres of greenbelt, our neighborhood looks and feels like a rural setting, even though we're actually located in the middle of a booming Southside commercial district, too.
One of the few disadvantages of living in this house is that it's not connected to the city gas and sewage, so we've got to maintain a septic system for our sewage, plus a propane tank for our cooking and heating needs. For the most part, that's no big deal, as long as we remember to drain the one and fill the other on a regular basis, which hasn't been a problem - until last Friday night.
LOW ON FUEL
Knowing that a cold front was supposed to blow in that night, I checked the gauge on the propane tank, only to find that it almost empty. Hard to know exactly how much gas was left, but definitely not enough to get through a cold weekend. Bummer! It was after5pm, so there was no chance of getting a re-fill, because our propane supplier is already closed for the weekend. And if we let the tank get completely empty, the company will have to charge us a minimum of $35 for a state-mandated leak check - with the possibility that it could cost up to $200, depending on what's involved and how much time it takes. And that's on top of the $350-$400 it normally costs for a fill-up. Ouch!
LOW TEMPERATURES
I immediately turned the water heater to it's lowest setting, and shared the bad news with Zet and Mateo: no central heating, long hot showers and or cooking for the next two days. No big deal, really. It's definitely what my friend, Charlie, would call "a First World problem," because it's just a temporary situation, and we have the money and resources to deal with it. It's not like we live in the outback somewhere. Past experience shows that as long as the outside temperature stays at around freezing, the temperature in our house will be about 52-55 degrees; chilly, but nothing that woolen sweaters and blankets can't handle. The quick, tepid showers probably won't be wonderful, but not bad, either. I'll miss cooking, but we have an electric kettle for brewing hot tea, and we can always go out to eat, if we want.
LOW FEELINGS
And that's probably how it would have turned out: a nice chance to snuggle up to each other on the sofa, catch up on family conversation and watch some Netflix. Unfortunately, the hard winds that blew in with the cold front Friday night also brought very high levels of cedar pollen, which lead to one of the worst cases of Cedar Fever I've ever had. Sneezing, coughing and hacking punctuated the next the next few days, and elongated the sleepless nights, spent tossing and turning, waking up every hour, coughing, trying to relax and go back to sleep
By 4am Monday morning, I found myself in the middle of a full-blown Pity Party. Sleep deprived, with an aching chest and a runny nose, knowing it would be easier to breathe if I got up and got dressed, but not wanting to leave the warmth of the bed to go sit alone in the cold, dark living room, either. Longing to turn on the central heat, but unable to ignore the crummy feelings involved in the possibility of spending an extra $200 for a gas-leak test.
ALL SHALL BE WELL
There I was, rolled up into a tiny, little ball, feeling sad, stressed and alone with my fears, when all of the sudden a new awareness rose from somewhere deep inside, gently unfolding my body, bringing a smile to my heart and a deep sense of calm to my lungs. Reminding me, once again, that these feelings of deprivation and separation are just an illusion. That I AM truly blessed in this circumstance, and every circumstance in my life. For all the seeming No's (no sleep, no breath, no heating, no careful budget planning for unexpected expenses, no, no, no...), I was and AM surrounded by so many rich blessings: the warmth of my bed, the presence of my sweetly sleeping wife and son, a cozy home, plenty of food, and most of all, the rich, indwelling flow of Spirit moving to me and through me, filling every cell and fiber of my being with Life.
A few minutes later, I fell into a deep sleep and didn't wake up until well after 8am, feeling deeply rested and truly blessed by yet another opportunity to learn to say Yes to the No's in my life, trusting that all is well, and all shall be well.
With gratitude,
Rudi
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