NOW AND THEN

            Yesterday I found myself worrying about this upcomingSunday, which will be the first of three consecutive Sundays when the Circle will meet at Say Sí, instead of the SA Garden Center.

            Will folks follow us across town again? What if they don't? What if they can't find us? It wasn't a problem when we did the same thing in the Spring, but will there be a negative impact this time? The Circle's financial reserves are at the lowest level they've ever been; will they dip lower because of this move? Is the pleasure of meeting in the spacious, light-filled Garden Center forty-four times a year worth the inconvenience of moving across town on the eight Sundays (five in the spring; three in the fall) that it isn't available to us?

           

STUCK AGAIN

            While these are all important questions, they've already been asked and discussed repeatedly at various planning meetings. Besides, now that the rental contract is already in place, and the arrangements have all been made, it's too late to change anything anyway, so why worry? For that matter, why worry about worrying so much?        

            So there I was, stuck in the muck, listening to Monkey Mind chattering at full speed, while running through that same old list of questions, over and over... when a smaller, quieter voice came slipping-sliding through, inviting me:

Stop.

Just for now

Let this breath be enough

Let yourSelf remember that whatever tomorrow may bring, in this moment, all your needs are met

Let silence replace the deep-seated desire to have words come to your rescue, and save you from the formless mystery nipping at your heels

Let unresolved questions be what they are, without a need to follow them blindly into the darkness where they live

Let your heart take the lead for awhile, and give your weary mind a rest

Let the first crisp breezes of autumn clear out the space between your ears

and help you sink into the silence that lives in the spaces between your thoughts

Let go of your need to see around the corner, and make room for the field of infinite possibilities to unfold right now

and now

and now.

           Of course, I still don't know what Sunday will bring, but whatever it might be, I feel at peace with it now, knowing only good will come from being present in this moment while releasing my attachments, expectations and fears about the future. And... I'd love to see you there on Sunday!

With joy,
          Rudi