FEEDING THE BEAST

Once upon a time, long ago and far away in the peaceful, prosperous Italian town of Gubbio, the citizens woke to the grisly sight of a young woman's badly mangled body lying on the street, bearing clear signs of having been gnawed on. No one knew what had happened. But a few nights later, it occurred again to an elderly man; and later a child, and then another. People were frightened, not knowing who or what was responsible for these horrible deaths.

Finally, an old woman reported seeing a large wolf slinking through the shadows on a side street, causing even more fear. No one was willing to have anything to do with the beast, much less hunt it down. So the terrified townsfolk decided to seek out a holy man who lived in the region, because he had a reputation for being able to communicate with animals, and they thought he might be able to help the town deal with this nightmare.

A delegation arrived at the abbey where St. Francis lived, and asked him to talk to the wolf about obeying the commandment against killing, or, better yet, stay in the forest where wolves belong. Francis did as he was asked, went into the forest and met the wolf, addressing it as "Brother Wolf." Afterwards, he went to the town square and spoke to the anxious citizens gathered there, saying "Good people of Gubbio, the solution is quite simple: you must feed your wolf."

The townsfolk were outraged at the notion of feeding the beast, much less acknowledging it as "their wolf." But not having any other solution at hand, they followed Francis' advice and began feeding "their wolf" - and the killing stopped, leaving the people of Gubbio to live in peace again.

SEEING THE BEAST
When I first heard this story years ago, it was just another interesting, historical and perhaps apocryphal anecdote about St. Francis. But these days this legend speaks to me at a deeper level because, as difficult as it has been, I've gradually learned the importance of recognizing the presence of the "hungry wolf" that comes prowling through the streets and alleys of my life from time to time.

Mostly it tends to remain a nameless, shapeless fear that lurks in the shadows of my mind, something I'd rather not face or deal with. Very rarely is my fear based on an immediate danger (a raging fire, a coiled rattlesnake, a medical emergency). Almost always, it takes the vague, shadowy form of am unspecified feeling of unworthiness; a wringing concern about money; a bottomless well of worries about an upcoming event.

Whatever form it takes, if left unattended, it can eventually sneak into my body and leave me exhausted, perhaps even sick. More often, it simply devours big chunks of precious time and energy that are spent being unfocused, stressed and depressed.

FREEING THE BEAST
As far as I know, there's no way to kill it, medicate it or chase it away, although heaven knows I've tried such strategies often. Because the very act of attacking it in any way simply allows it to steal more and more of my time and energy. It's much healthier - and in the long run - much easier to face this "wolf" directly; to acknowledge it's presence, recognize it as "my" wolf and "feed" it with compassionate, non-judgmental attention, without getting caught up in the made-for-reality-TV drama of it all. Then, and only then, is the wolf free to slink back into the distant, misty forest of old memories, habits and patterns that it came from...

Granted, that's much easier said than done. It takes time, patience and persistence to develop the ability to see the wolf for the imaginary, self-constructed concept that it is. And it takes some degree of practiced skill to feed it with loving, non-resistance, from a space of compassionate detachment. I certainly haven't perfected this approach, and still find myself fighting the wolf more often than I'd care to admit. But at least I've learned to recognize the symptoms of the Wolf Attack Syndrome more quickly than before.

FEELING SUPPORT
Fortunately, I've also learned that I don't have to face the wolf alone, because Spirit is ever-present in the process, if I'll just remember to attune to the Presence through prayer and reflection. And that each time the wolf appears is actually a gift, providing another valuable opportunity to grow. That one of the benefits of having a regular meditation practice is that it helps develop that part of the Inner Self that is capable of observing circumstances unfold on the outer plane, without judgment or needing to change things. And that it's helpful to be part of a spiritual community, full of loving companions who can remind me about the truth when I forget what the wolf is (finite, illusory, powerless) and who I AM (infinite, loving, powerful).

Thank you for being part of that community. I trust that you, too, feel that the Celebration Circle helps you deal with challenges as they arise. Whether you live locally or far away, attend Circle events often or not, your love and support play an integral part in helping me, and countless other individuals, remain focused on the positive power of unconditional love, which is more than a match for any "wolf" or challenging circumstance. At least, that's my story, and I'm sticking to it.

With blessings,
    Rudi