Batman To the Rescue!

      I'm driving through the rain on the six-hour trip back home from East Texas, much like I did two days earlier on my way out here. Only slower this time, because the rain's falling harder and it feels like I've spent at least half an hour, crawling behind a big RV on this winding, two-lane highway. Can't help but feeling a big post-gig slump, the adrenaline of sharing my music at last night's concert in Jacksonville and speaking at this morning's worship service in Tyler having worn off many miles ago.

     As usual, it was a lot of fun singing and speaking both times, but it rained pretty hard all weekend, so attendance was low in both places. I know it shouldn't matter, but somehow it does. Time after time, the old doubts come creeping out of the farthest, darkest corner of my brain, telling me I'm not good enough, feeding my fears of failure, demanding to know why I persist in dragging my guitar out to make joyful noises in so many venues, year after year.

SINGING IN THE RAIN

      Eager to drown out those negative thoughts for a while, I slip my "House of Yes" CD into the dashboard stereo, and start harmonizing along with the lyrics, not to any audience or for any reason, other than to remind myself of something bigger than my private, little Pity Party. And that it's my job to stay focused on writing, singing and living my purpose, not to worry about who is or isn't reading, watching or listening.

      As if on cue, a large flock of geese comes flying into view, soaring southward in ever-shifting, staggered V-formations, far overhead. It's clearly just my imagination, but it sure sounds like they're honking in reply to my song, as they fly off into the distance. Could it be that their vocal sounds help them stay aligned and on course during their long journey? Or are they, too, simply singing out for the sheer joy of expressing themselves?

DANCING IN THE CAR

      A few moments later, my iPhone flashes a text notice, and I pull over to check it out, because my dear friend, Jason, has just sent me a short video clip of his young son, Xavier, dressed up in a Batman costume, dancing up, down and all around in Jason's car, with my "House of Yes" song playing in their stereo. Talk about cute. He's got me grinning from ear to ear in five seconds flat!

     I immediately call Jason, who explains that they had just gone to the Halloween store, and afterwards, Xavier had asked his dad to "play the Yes Song" - resulting in the brief video clip of him doing the Batman Boogie, displayed at the top of this page (which you should be able to play by clicking on the arrow. The quality of the image doesn't translate very well from the original iPhone footage, but you get the picture...)  The boy didn't say a word, but his message seems clear: "Lighten up! Enjoy the ride." And so, I do.

REMINDED ONCE AGAIN

      I'm telling you all this by way of reminding you, just as Xavier and the wild geese reminded me: that supportive guides and helpers can take many forms, and are seldom far away, if only we are open to seeing them. At least, that's the song I choose to sing -- and I'm sticking to it.

With joy

      Rudi

DANCE WITH THE CHANGES

       For the past couple of weeks, I've been thinking a lot about the process of change unfolding within and around me. It probably started when I went to the 45-year reunion of the New Braunfels High School Class of 1970, where I was shocked to see the familiar faces of my youth looking so much older than they seemed just a few short years ago at a previous reunion.

      And that feeling was certainly amplified a few days later by officiating yet another memorial service for yet another friend, while noticing the turning of the seasons, marked by the shift to cooler weather and the piles of brown leaves accumulating on the ground.

 

SHARING THE PROCESS

      So it's probably no surprise that for the last two Sunday Circles, I've been using my words, music and meditations to reflect on the process of embracing change. What was surprising is the number of people that have made a point of telling me how timely and helpful they found those reflections to be. So I've decided to post the videos of those two Sundays in this space, which I normally use to share a brief story or poem. (see clips, above and below)

      I invite you to invest a few minutes watching one or both of these videos, and meditate on the changes occurring in and around your life. (Each video contains a brief talk of about 8-10 minutes, followed by a guided meditation of about the same length). Perhaps you'll even hit "Reply" on this e-mail afterwards, and share your thoughts on the process of embracing the changes in your life.

      In any case, I send you rich blessings and best wishes as your travel around the Circle of Life during this particular season of change, whatever it brings you.

 

In peace, 

          Rudi

PS: This weekend I'll be spreading the Celebration Circle vibes in East Texas, performing a solo concert at the First Presbyterian Church Community Hall in Jacksonville on Saturday night

, and speaking/singing at the Unity Church of Tyler on Sunday morning

. If you or a loved one will be in that area this weekend, it would be great to see you there!

JUST ONE LEAF

Walking outside to get into

my car and 

zoom off to tackle

the first of several errands planned for this day,

I'm stopped 

dead in my tracks

by the sight of

            one

                        single

                                    red oak leaf

      swirling

                        down

around

            my

                        head

carried along by the first strong cool, breeze

of the season

 

Quite a few other leaves

are lying on the ground already,

but this is the first one I've actually watched 

falling

in            super      slow       motion

vividly demonstrating the path we all

must travel eventually

as it spirals downward

following gravity's pull

back into the earth

from which we arose at birth

 

Just two minutes earlier I was in a

mighty big rush to go somewhere else

but this one, single leaf has hushed my mental chatter  

just long enough

to reveal the mysterious

curvature of time and space in this place where I'm standing

demanding that I slow down

take a deep breath

face into the fact of my eventual death

then 

pause

and give thanks for this moment of simply bearing witness

to the turning of the seasons

once again.

With gratitude and blessings,

        Rudi

HILL COUNTRY HIDEAWAY

       Last month I was able to perform more of my music in more venues, and provide more spiritual direction to more people, than I have in years. It was a true blessing, and I'm deeply grateful for all those opportunities to do what I love to do, yet...I sure was feeling depleted and tired as September drew to a close. I longed to spend some time resting deeply, but couldn't find anywhere that fit either my budget or schedule.

 

NICE AND COZY

     Fortunately, a good friend offered me the use of his new house in the Hill Country. He recently bought it and is in the process of making small repairs before moving in, so it's empty and unoccupied for now. It's a beautiful, light-filled home, perched on an extra-large, tree-covered lot tucked into a secluded valley on the outskirts of Boerne  - and I'm delighted to be staying here for a few days.

     It's only an hour from home, but it feels light years away from my piled up desk and busy family life in San Antonio. Here, there's very little furniture, no TV and no Internet access, with nothing and nobody to distract me.  I've come with the intention of simmering in sweet solitude and silence for three whole days, not talking with anyone, fasting from words and meditating for long stretches at a time for a change.

 

NICE IDEA

     Once I've unpacked the car, gotten my bearings and settled into this delightful new space, I immediately lie down for a full-body relaxation and cleansing meditation. It's heavenly, and I'm feeling deeply blissful when suddenly there's a knock at the door. My first instinct is to keep my eyes closed and simply ignore the intrusion, but the knocking continues. My second instinct is to hide, but the house is virtually empty, and I can tell that the two women on the front porch have already seen me. Slowly, my social instincts force me to open the door for two smiling Jehovah's Witnesses who live nearby and have come to greet their new neighbor.

     Normally, I would quickly send such Bible-toting, door-to-door evangelizers scurrying away with a friendly, but firmly stated summary of my metaphysical beliefs. But this time I hesitate, feeling torn between (1) sticking to my intention to maintain essential silence for three days, (2) honoring my childhood upbringing as an unfailingly polite Southerner, or (3) lingering in my blissed-out state of meditation. The two Witnesses come zooming through the gap, waving their pamplets and launching into a well-crafted spiel with a zeal I can't help but admire.

 

NICE PEOPLE

     Initially, my arms are crossed and my stance is aloof; I just want them to disappear so I can get back to my planned silence and solitude. But they are so sincere, their timing so impeccable, and the religious tract they've just handed me is entitled "Awake!"  How could I possibly ignore their message?

     I can't help but smile inwardly as I realize, once again, the truth of the old Yiddish proverb: "man plans, God laughs." Sure, I had a perfectly good plan for how to spend these next couple of days meditating in silence. But it's also pretty clear that these ladies are here by some kind of Divine Appointment, to remind me not to take myself so darn seriously, and that spiritual lessons (and teachers) can take many different forms.

     Soon enough the women give up, having come to understand that I'm neither their new neighbor, nor a likely convert to their beliefs. When they finally close the door behind them, I pick up my guitar and sing for the sheer joy of it for a while, exulting in the rich, reverberating acoustics of the almost-empty house, then sit down to write these words so I can process the events. And then I'm going to take a long nap.

 

NICE TRY

      I don't know what will happen during the remainder of my time in this quiet, lovely house, but clearly words and music - and more rest - will be part of it, and that's just fine with me. The lesson for today seems to be:  Don't get too attached to your plans. And, whatever you do, be Awake!

With gratitude and blessings,

     Rudi

LENDING A HAND

Can you help? 

For the next two Sundays, the Circle is supporting the San Antonio Catholic Workers House by holding a drive to collect supplies for the many homeless and needy people who they serve. Please bring the following items in quantities that work for you. They have provided a box that will be at SAY Sí on October 4th and 11th

.

Hygiene Supplies: Toothpaste, Toothbrush, Toilet Paper, Soap, Shampoo, Razors, Tissues, Wet Wipes, Deodorant, Lotion, Socks, Underwear

Kitchen Supplies: Coffee, Sugar, Creamer, Spoons, Cups, Crock pots, Dish Towels 

For Colder Weather: Hats, Gloves, Jackets, Blankets

Cash donations will also be accepted and/or checks can be made out to: Catholic Workers House, 626 Nolan Street, SA, TX 78202

The Catholic Worker Movement began in 1933, when journalist, Dorothy Day, and philosopher, Peter Maurin, teamed up to publish and distribute a newspaper called "The Catholic Worker." This radical paper promoted the biblical promise of justice and mercy. Grounded in a firm belief in the God-given dignity of every human person, the Catholic Workers remain committed to nonviolence, voluntary poverty, and the Works of Mercy as a way of life by serving the homeless, the hungry and the forsaken. Over many decades the movement has protested injustice, war, and violence of all forms. Today there are some 228 Catholic Worker communities in the US and around the world. 

Granted, this collection drive is a very small step in the direction of serving the growing population of people with needs living in our midst, but that doesn't make it any less important. Please consider coming to the Circle this Sunday with at least one handful of helpful gifts to share.

With gratitude and blessings,

          Rudi

CHOOSING PEACE

           For most of my adult life, I've focused on exploring, experiencing and expressing an inner path to personal and planetary peace. It's been my work, play, passion and pleasure.  It's richly rewarding work, but filled with plenty of challenges and confusion along the way. Engaging in this process of reading, writing, contemplating and communicating about the power of making conscious choices in daily life can feel very fertile and futile by turns, because there's always more to learn.

           

SHARING GIFTS

            Over the years I've had the good fortune to share this work in a variety of contexts: concerts, classrooms, congregations, corporations - and, of course, the Celebration Circle community. I can't speak to the value of what I'm able to contribute to the effort, but time and again, I'm amazed at the deep feelings I receive from other peacemakers I meet on this path. Their gifts can take many forms, each with its own weight and measure to add to my inner treasury.

 

            That was definitely the case last Sunday, when a sweet, nine-year girl named Cira shyly handed Zet a tightly folded note after our Closing Circle. If you can read the words of her poem in the photo above, perhaps you understand why my eyes started welling up with tears when I saw it. But, just in case the words aren't legible on your computer or mobile device, here's what she wrote (with a few spelling changes for clarity):

 

Sometime I wonder why

there's so many cruel people in this world 

and helpful, kind people too

 

It's your choice if you

want to bloom like

a rose or rot like

[an] apple core.

 

Everybody has a blooming

flower inside of them.

 

Thanks so much for sharing your gentle reminder, Cira!

 

With gratitude and blessings,

                                    Rudi

         In the spirit of sharing peace, I am playing music for a production of "Waiting For The Moon" at the Carver Community Cultural Center, 226 N. Hackberry at 8:00pm tonight. This dramatic performance combines the powerful words and imagery of local Syrian poet, Lahab Assef Al-Jundi, with contemporary interpretive dance by Fa Winsborough and Stardust Dance Company plus music by Swami Ananda Nadayogi. This performance speaks to the peace efforts and the lives affected in war torn Syria. Tickets are $20 and available at the door. For more information visit the Carver website here.

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

Did you get to read the article about Celebration Circle that was featured in the San Antonio Express-News last Sunday? Written by Elaine Ayala, Staff Reporter and Religion Editor, it was the cover story of the Faith Section, a separate pull-out magazine tucked into the middle of the paper.

            It sure felt good to get such great publicity for the Circle in our city's daily paper.  It was also interesting to see our community through the eyes of a professional, outside observer like Ms. Ayala, based on what she learned by interviewing Zet and I for almost two hours, then attending a Sunday Circle, before filing her article.

            Her article appears below, partially because I'd love for you to be able to read it, if you haven't already done so, but also because I'm wondering what YOU might have added (or subtracted) from the article had Ms. Ayala interviewed you. If, after reading her words, you have some of your own to add, I'd love to hear what you have to say. If you would like to share your comments please send them here.

Group looks to diverse faiths to form its own; In Celebration Circle, 'We Are One'San Antonio Express-News (TX)

Sunday, September 6, 2015

Author: Elaine Ayala

The people of Celebration Circle break bread as part of their Sunday services. They sing praise songs, light candles, pray for peace and people, near and far, and listen for a message of hope.

But like Native Americans, they start services by facing north, south, east and west, opening themselves up to the four directions and to all creation. "O, great spirit," they sing in unison, "earth, sun, sky and sea." In a nod to New Age spirituality, they engage in guided meditation. 

And like many church congregations, they have a band - "a great band," said spiritual director Rudi Harst, and a key element. 

In all these traits, the independent San Antonio group has drawn from diverse faiths to create one all its own, unfettered by a denomination, hierarchy or headquarters. 

Its oft-repeated mantra: "We are one." 

Now in its 23rd year, Celebration Circle was founded by two San Antonians with deep roots in community and faith. It meets Sundays in the SAY Sí building on South Alamo Street. Its weekly meditation circle is held Wednesday nights at the Quaker Meetinghouse, 7052 N. Vandiver. 

Harst comes by faith honestly. "It was very much in our DNA to find a meaningful relationship with God," he said of his Eurasian family. He self-identifies as Unitarian Universalist and says God can be Jesus, Allah, Buddha or any other deity. He won't argue with the righteousness of any of them. 

But he's not as interested in talking about God "as I am experiencing God," he said. 

Celebration Circle, which honors "the sacred in ourselves, each other and all creation," doesn't have members. "You can't join because everyone belongs," Harst said. 

About 200 people attend in any given month, and about 300 give on some level; some once; some more routinely. 

They are a diverse lot - Anglo, Latino, African-American and Asian; young and old; singles and families. It's a come-as-you-are affair. 

Celebration Circle, a 501c3 nonprofit group, is a reflection of its two founders, Harst and his wife, Zet Baer, its executive director. 

Third-generation Indonesian Dutch, Harst was born in Holland, where his family immigrated after World War II. His grandfather, a lay minister in Jakarta, was imprisoned by the Japanese during their occupation of Indonesia. The family landed in the United States, again as refugees, sponsored by a New Braunfels church, to which Harst's parents remained faithful. 

His challenging upbringing was informed by the civil rights movement. "White people thought we were Mexican," he said. "Mexicans knew full well we weren't." He never felt that he quite belonged. 

Two of his brothers became ministers; two others cops. "What does that tell you of our need to find order in a disordered world?" he asked. 

At Trinity University, Harst continued to ask questions about God, spirituality and consciousness. But he had little interest in theology. 

On a recent Sunday, he talked about the world's obligation to assist immigrants seeking refuge from poverty and violence. "Love your neighbor as yourself," he said. "It's not just a good idea. It's the way forth." 

Much of what Harst is and does, spiritually, is related to music. He picked up the guitar after watching the Beatles on "The Ed Sullivan Show" and has played ever since. 

Zet Baer grew up in the Methodist Church and says her main spiritual foundation came from her grandmother, who rooted her "in her belief in the divine." Her faith was also inspired by the sense of community she felt there. 

At the University of Texas at Austin, the artist and organizer (she coordinates the King William Fair, too) practiced yoga and embraced New Age spirituality. She explored Buddhism, meditation and dance. She teaches Journey Dance, and she said it's part of her spiritual practice. 

Harst and Baer, both 63, lead Celebration Circle with a council of stewards. Harst jokes they have "full-time jobs with part-time pay." 

September is a busy month. Celebration Circle's 12th annual altar exhibit at Santikos Bijou Cinema just opened. Each of its nichos, or small shrines, began as raw pine wood frames. Each was transformed into a work of faith and art. "One People. Many Paths: Sacred Art of Altars" will close Sept. 30 with its silent auction. The 2012 film "The Way," starring Martin Sheen, will be screened. Tickets are $15; $20 at the door. 

On Sept. 19, Celebration Circle will host another fundraiser that speaks to its unique brand of religiosity. Held in the Cave Without a Name near Boerne, "Underground Sounds" will celebrate the fall solstice with a concert featuring guitar, percussion, flute, keyboard, the Indian violin and didgeridoo. 

Vocals will soar 90 feet from the surface in a cavern brimming with stalactites and stalagmites. Part of the concert will be performed in total darkness. And in those moments, deep in the ground, Celebration Circle will remind those who attend that, as one, people must be worthy stewards of the Earth.    

                                    Rudi

PS If you are a digital subscriber to the Express-News, here is the link

 to the entire article with photos.