MOMENTS OF GRATITUDE AND WONDER

     I'm just hanging out with my wife and son, chatting about nothing particular, simply enjoying some all-too-rare time together at home, doing as little as possible for a change. Suddenly, a huge wave of love comes washing over me, and I find myself swimming in a sea of gratitude, while standing right here in the middle of our kitchen.

SEEING ANEW

     I rub my eyes and blink, seeing these two amazing beings, radiating so much beauty, love and intelligence that it's almost blinding to look at them. How did I get so lucky as to have a family like this? How is it possible that Mateo will be turning 18 next week (!!) and heading off to college in Albuquerque in a few months, when it seems like it was just a couple of years ago I was standing in that hospital room, watching him emerge from his birth mother's womb. And how could it be that Zet has been my best friend for 37 years, and yet, here I am, looking at her - at both of them  -- with brand new eyes, as if seeing them for the first time.

     It's wonderful to be basking in their radiant glow, although I also find myself feeling humbled by how much I don't know about either one of them. My mind wants to race off into analyzing this and that about them, wishing I knew more about who they are, and what they're thinking about, and what they're longing for, and...  but my heart cuts in and says simply:  "Peace, be still and give thanks..."

FEELING RENEWED

     I'm reminded once again of Garrison Keillor's wry observation that each of our lives is a thick, complex novel, full of multiple, twisting plot lines and strange, wondrous characters. And yet we walk around merely glancing at each other's dust jackets, while pretending we've read the whole book and acting as if we know everything there is to know about the people whose stories we've only glimpsed - even beloved family members, like these, with whom I've been living all these years.

      Zoom...instantly my mind goes right back to judging, twisting around to "figure out" more about Zet, Mateo and our relationships, turning in on itself to make sense out of things, wishing I had more time with Mateo before he heads off into his new life... 

     But, just as quickly, the Still Small Voice reminds me: "Peace, be still, and give thanks..."  And so I do, remembering once again that this is just another moment, just another day. Just another chance to sink into the silence:  "Peace, be still, and give thanks."

With gratitude and blessings,

    Rudi Harst

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